Confession : 1002

Hello everyone. I am 30 years old married women. Actually i had a love marriage after 10 years of relationship aur mere husband uss waqt bhi mujhe ache se treat nahi karte the. Matlab kabhi mere calls ko respond nahi karna. Msgs ko answer nahi karna all that but main unke piche pagal thi aur main unhi ke sath rehna chahti thi. Uss waqt bhi mere husband jobless the aur aaj bhi vaise h hain. Main shadi se pehle bhi in se pyaar ki umeed karti thi aur shadi ke baad bhi karti rahi. Family ko shadi ke liye conveince karna tha toh in ke business set up kiya jo ki in hone apni drinking habit se spoil kar diya. Uss ke baad jaise taise shadi ho gayi. Shadi ke baad mujhe aur bhi zayadaa bura trear kiya gaya. Matlab in laws ki balwaas upar se pati ki harkatein phir mere husband ne mere sath maar peet kari. Main phir chup rahi aur yeh bhi bola nataunki karne ki zaroorat nahi hain jab main ro rahi thi. Maarne ka reason tha ki khelte khelte meri nanand ka beta (7yrs) gir gaya thoda sa toh uske baad bohoot si baatein hui maine suicide karne ki kosis ki toh bhi mere husband maar peet ki. Maine kisi ko nahi btaya. Phir meri tabiyat bohoot kharab ho gayi main 3 months tak pareshan rahi due to arthritis toh mere husband mujhe you tube dekh kar treatment suggest karte the doctor visit karne ki jagah. Iss ke baad meri life mein ek change aaya ki meri working place mein kisi se mulaqaat hui aur woh relationship mein convert ho gayi. Woh insaan mujhe har waqt support karta raha mera har cheej, main sasuraal mein khana toh kha nahi paati thi kyuki itna problems hoti thi, kaam itna hota tha toh woh mujhe mere lunch time mein lunch dene aaya karte hain. Ab mujhe laga ki haan main bhi ji sakti hoon. Main khush thi par maine apne husband se baat karba band kar diya tha almost. Inn sab cheezon ke baad mere husband ko yeh pta chal gaya ki sayad main kisi ke sath baat karti ho aur milti ho. Phir inhone meri family ko bola kar hungama kiya, meri kisi ne kuch nahi suni bass main gunahagaar bann gayi Kyuki ab main jeena chahti thi toh maine bohoot maar bhi khayi bohoot baatein bhi seh li sabki. Mere husband jitna hurt kar sakte the mujhe unhone kiya. Phir maar peet ke baad mere husband mujhe ghar se nikaal kar rent mein le ayein. Mere against police complaint ki, counselling bhi hui. Aur mere husband mujhse maafi maagtein hain par main kaise uss insaan ke sath rahun jisne kabhi mujhe kuch samjha h nhi aur kyu uss insaan ko chod do jo 2 saal se bass meri sabse zayadaa parwah karta h. Main abhi rent mein akeli rehti ho aur relationship mein ho. Woh meri bohoot care karte h par mujhe darr lag raha h ki agar phir se galat hua toh. Kya karun kuch samjh nhi aa raha.